Lifestyle…

okay… so here my post is about lifestyle.. i guess everyone has their own way of defining their lifestyle.. some could afford a luxurious lifestyle, while some simply workaholic… where am i? well.. during my nov and dec break.. i began to understand myself better..

okay.. so here it is.. during my break.. i once complaint that i am so busy that i don;t have time for my own. but as time goes by, the busy-ness fade and i began to balance my work and my activities so i am not stressed out. I love being busy though… hm.. so when i am back indo, i thought i could really enjoy that totally 100% relaxation lifestyle, which is just chit chat with my parents and sleep and eat and maybe do lots of research.. so its a lot of alone time.. after 2 weeks and a half, i can conclude that this lifestyle is totally not for me and is driving me to depression which is very unhealthy for me..

Okay so my indo lifestyle, is totally “FREE” yet i feel imprisoned. Okay, so i can basically say i am a home person, i woke up in the morning, have my brekky and watch the news, chit chat with parents, watch movies and do some reading, go to the saloon. Weekend, i will go out with my parents, and the traveling time, is like 1 hr from one place to another or sometimes it’s worse than that… so, i will be sitting in the car for 1 hr. so i can sum up my activity= sitting down.

I have been trying my best to kill time but since i am living in a deserted area somewhere in medan, which the google map has trouble detecting it, is a bit hard for me to be creative. It is more of a “surviving” this loneliness period. But i guess, i can’t complain.

i use to be living like this before i study overseas. I wonder, how my parents actually survive this. maybe business kills time?

but i began to understand how they feel- I believe, i still have a choice of whether to stay or not, but they don’t. Their choice are base on responsibility. Selfishness are not accepted in this case. They got to earn money to spoon feed everyone of us, so that every of their kids could afford the luxurious lifestyle outside. Love is sacrifice, thats how they show their love to us. They would rather stay in this depressing state. Sacrifice.

But ya, i am a person that hates to sit down. Sitting down makes you fat, lazy and depressed. It actually makes you more tired.

I guess luxurious lifestyle is boring too. medicure, pedicure, spa, saloon, high tea and all that… it all involves sitting down. Gosh, now i understand why rich people dies faster. Is not that i am cursing tehm.. but i am just stating a fact about “sitting down makes you fat”.

HAHA! so ya.. i really miss my busy times. i guess i am workaholic. And i love being workaholic. Get me out of here people…

Religion Views

Recently, I came across an argument between a “logic” thinker and a “spiritual” thinker. When you call a person a “logic” thinker, means this person needs a reason or a fact to be the evidence of a particular belief/ answer. When it comes to a spiritual thinker, means this person use faith as the key to the answer. These 2 people will never get along. One is “seeing is believing” and the other is “believing is seeing”.

Both of them got their points rights. One of them use the “worldly reason” to support his arguments, which actually make sense. The other actually used a lot of spirituality to support her arguments, which also make sense since we have studied the bible. So I was in the grey zone; I don’t who is right and wrong.
Okay let’s talk a bit about each of their arguments.

Argument no.1
a) Don’t Trust Anyone. Including your pastor because everyone who comes close, they have intentions. Humans are not perfect but God is, so give your trust to the lord.

Or

b) Trust your pastors even though they might be wrong. We have to submit to our authority.

From this person A, I do believe that every person who come close to you, they have intentions. A friend can be close but indirectly they have intentions whereby they might need you in the future or increase their connections without themselves realizing it themselves. So everyone does have intentions. Its true that everyone is not perfect, people makes mistakes, so we cannot trust 100% in a person but we can give our 100% to God.

For person B. If we go according to our bible, we have to submit to out authority. We love our pastors and our church that is why we give 100% to the leaders, we give them our lives.

There are still so many arguments. But I cannot list down all of it. Because some are too confidential. But ultimately, I still firmly believe that everything that we do requires faith. It requires faith to trust someone because he/she is appointed by God, so we have to surrender, but on the other hand, the person has the ability to make mistakes. As long as whatever we do, we believe and we know is according to the word of God, I guess we just got to do it, if it is the will or not, God will reveal.

The Fear of Obesity

As I look at the people around me; passers-by, peers or even the media, I always have this pressure to look like them or “have to” be like them. Because that is how the world stereotype beauty .Yes. I have the fear inside me; afraid to be called fat because I have this high ego that always wants to look the best in front of people. I have this insecurity-when I ate a lot, I tend to worry and thought about the extra pounds that I will gained.

Why that fears? When I was around junior high school, or primary school, my friends and my teachers constantly teased me. They would joke about me, call me snowman and in the Singapore Education system, it is a must to join the Trim and Fit club if we are overweight. I am part of it. So I was in the TAF club for about 6 years, always running around and people teased me. I was so embarrassed and always cried when I went home. I don’t have my parents to be there for me since they are overseas. So I tend to keep all these fear and depression by myself. During my year of attending the high school, when I was 13, there’s more pressure from the peers, because I want to get the attention from my peers and schoolmates. So my diet began.

I took pills and exercise regularly to lose weight. I took pills to remove all my body waste and exercise to ton my body. It was successful. So in one month, I lose about 6kg. People were shocked when I lose weight and indeed, I look much better and gain lots of confidence. So I stop consuming those pills but always exercise to keep my body in good shape. I thought my fear was over, but I was wrong.

During my years in high school, when I ate a lot, I always have the urge to consume those pills because I never ever want to be fat again. I don’t want to go back to those years whereby I was constantly teased. So the insecurity is always there. I have been carrying that throughout my life and I am never happy. On the other hand, I always tell people I love my body and have no worries about weight. I guess people look up to me because of that. I thought I never had a problem with my weight anymore, but I was wrong.

Few days ago, I have the urge to lose weight again. Because I felt that I have gained so much. So instead of consuming those pills, I go for healthier pills, Detox, to get rid of oils and improve the digestion. Then, my siblings eventually found out which led to disappointments. During that point of time, my pride was crushed and I knew that i disappoint my love ones. People will start calling me fake.

I guess that is one of God’s ways to make me realize that I don’t have to go to that extent of looking good because i am created in His image, which is beautiful. Although I am always taught about looking good and stereotyping, the fear never ceases to haunt me. I did not realize that I actually had this weight problem disorder. So I shared this problem to one of my friend and he said that, he is going to help me lose weight if I want to, but not using those pills. He will pray for my “illness” so that I can overcome it using God’s strength and power. I threw away my detox pills and I tell myself that I will never ever touch those pills again. It is a process but I know God will heal me.

To those people who encounter the same problem, I urge you to just find your satisfaction in God. When I was doing my devotion in the morning, God tells me to put my guiltiness away and repent. He has forgiven me. Tell God your insecurity and God will walk with you to overcome it. I am still in the process but I know God will heal because He is God and He is love. I just need to gain that confidence back and know that I am beautiful in God’s eye. Obesity is a problem, but lets stay healthy and don’t let this becomes a very big burden in our life, but just see this as a need to stay healthy and eventually honor God with our healthy lifestyle. Lets pray and do something about our fear. ☺

Amen.

God bless,
Bonnie

okayyyyyyyyyyy now next stuff

I want to write about some cool stuff that actually happen in life! okay one of my church leader, her name is ci maria.. she was really awesome.. i remember one day , she sent me home after builders night and then 1 hour lata, she called me back and said that she actually bought food for me! and best, is SPIZE takeaway! yay! at that point i was like “TERHARU” .. i guess sometimes church need more people like that..not only we speak values and care about what’s happening inside the church, but actually do simple things like this to bless each other. Hm… one thing really worth considering..
she is like the 2nd person that did this.. the first one was in oz and ya he is none other than my best leader and awesome buddy, ko den! miss him to max.. anyway back again..

So another thing that amaze me this week is actually my bro.. my bro was here for like 3 weeks.. yes.. and i really enjoyed having him here.. i know more about him and i am really2 proud to have a bro like him.

so whats up with this guy.. After my mum went back indo… he actually helps to clean the house, do laundry and even make juice for us..(me and carin).. he buy his own fruits to keep himself healthy and he don’t eat expensive stuff…. Everyday, he BBM my parents and ask how they are doing.. he even tell me how much he misses them.. I guess, even though people see him as abnormal, but to me he is normal. He set role models for our younger generations… Sometimes, i do admit that i don’t really think about my parents, but i still love them, but ya.. is quite malu sih… yesterday, we had a conversation.. like he told me that sometimes he wish he could have more friends and he is sick of being lonely.. is like hidup dia itu cuman ngobrol sama bonyok dan kerja.. maybe thats what causes him to be a little anti social and susah berkomunikasi dengan org.. but ya.. i do feel him.. everyone need friends sih.. and yeap we both prayed together yesterday night and it was powerful and awesome! God will realy give him whatever he need! he is flyng off tmrw! Wish him best of luck di ausi…

and ya thats my bro part…next one… these few months… i was reminded by God again about humility and faithfulness. My pastors in sydney, ci anna and kopol, they are one of the most inspiring pastors that i have met in my whole life. These people are not ordinary pastors, but they are really servants of God. Imagine yee.. pastur gereja yang take the effort to come early to church and set up the chairs.. accordingly and neatly, and kopol will be at the back, taking out equipments of the church. Never in my life, they are late. PAstur man! gila pastur! they are placing chairs and setting up! Imagine the whole world pastur do that! it talks alot about humility! i was really amazed when i think of it.. Kadang kita sebagai ministers, we forget the little things.. and sometimes we are too comfortable with that position that we are at, and we neglect the other aspect or actually yang tepatnya, kita ga mau sacrifice dikit buat gereja kita dan bantu set up or something because we are too consume about our own role.. so is like everything is me me me me me! next week harus lebi keren lagi! and lama2 jadinya kita self centred… It true that we have to only take our portions.. but i guess. sacrifices brings you far.. helping out and actually do it once in a while it speaks alot about the pastor being part of this body and the church. I really respect those 2 awesome pastors, teach me so much about humility and faithfulness! miss them to max! Reminds me about jesus washing the disciples feet! < see! is not Jesus's portion, but he still do it anyway.. keren keren!

i guesss. thats pretty much about it … these little things that i learnt actually helps me to go through a process of refinement! i believe God is going to reveal more things and i am so excited to be part of this church and actually be a builder! GO BON GO!

Qucik update! WASSUP!

okay2! i am back again.. so its been almost like 1 month i disappear from my blog! so maybe i should have a quick refresh of whats up with me for the past one month!! yay!

okay.. so waddup! my life dulu deh..
1. Been so busy about school.. film and production school everywhere! every night spend hours infront of computer doing paper work and printing and emailing school.. receiving phone calls and bla bla bla … sometimes i don’t have enough sleep…

2. my parents are here almost 3 weeks (one good reason why i didn’t update my blog) Parents here means more movement in the house, more noise and less focus… so ya.. is hard for me to read the bible and totally absorb 1 chapter during their stay here.. but praise God.. i can pray and absorb a few lines and do a bit of reflection.

3. took spanish class and drum class! yay! one of my goals for this year tercapai!

4. Multimedia for the church is getting more and more exciting! i mean God gave me GEN to help me out! i guess this is just the start and i can’t wait to see it grow and then one day we will make it REALLY BIG! Hit the box office! kyayayaya!

5. The church iCares has been improving in quantity and quality juga! so many good news!

Okay so those are the quick updates!

Quick Sharing (Building the wall of Jerusalem, is exactly what the Builders are doing)

About 2a.m in the morning, i was doing my quiet time before i sleep. I was reading Nehemiah since my church has been talking a lot about this person. When i was reading the first few chapters, God is actually talking! okay so waddup!
From the message version

Starting:

1. Ask God for Directions and tell Him your plans (Pray+fast)
(Neh 1:4 “When I heard these things, I sat down and wept. For some days I mourned and fasted and prayed before the God of heaven.” )

• tells me the power of fasting and praying and of course, the heart of seeing change.

2.(Neh 1:8-9 If you are unfaithful, I will scatter you among the nations, 9 but if you return to me and obey my commands, then even if your exiled people are at the farthest horizon, I will gather them from there and bring them to the place I have chosen as a dwelling for my Name )
< Tells me that we got to be faithful in our prayers and we got to capture the vision and actually act on it. God is our provision and He had made his promise.

Building (Process):

From Neh 2:11- 3: 32 (Building the wall/ Church)
Learn these few stuffs
1. Use whatever we have – Nehemiah only has a donkey,the king as his back up and He know God is with him- not much tools to build the church at first.
2. Look inside the church- what are the things needed to rebuild or to change.
3. Face the fact of what is actually happening inside the church and do something about it.
4. Gather people that has the same heart and passion, and rebuild the walls together.
5. Able to convince people- that you are a Leader that plans and have targets or strategies. This will inspire people to follow. People want to follow a leader that are sure about what they are doing.
6. People are assigned with different jobs- concentrating on different areas- but together they are building the Wall. Concentrating on what is our portion in the church and producing excellence, will be more effective, rather than multi tasking and end up tiring.

From Neh 4:1-23 ( Problems.. always)
1. There will be many critics and challenged during the process
From this verses, there are people who will always try to bring the church down- jealousy, condemnation or trash talk or gossips.
2. Knowing that there will be spiritual warfare, the more we have to guard the wall to prevent Enemy from destroying it. And here comes the guards, the prayer warriors, that need to pray and guard the church.
3. In the verse, it mentions- "slept with our clothes, and having spears in our hands always" – talking about our own life and whether we are actually equipped and prepared for this battle.

From Neh 5:1- 13 (Submitting to the Authority/ Leaders)

In this case, nehemiah is the leader. But during the process, some of his followers are complaining and protesting, beginning to doubt nehemiah's plan. But after much discussions with Nehemiah, they agreed with his plans and continued working.

1. From here, learning about submitting to authority regardless what his plan is. If you are unhappy with what your leader is doing, talk to him personally instead of complaining and protesting. Leaders are humans, they make mistakes.. if one day, they make the wrong step, we got to be there and give support because each of us are the builders of the church.

From Neh 6: 9- 19(Guarding our hearts and keep on track)

1. Always remember to stay humble and keep praying for strength. Because, if we do not guard our heart, the enemy will be happy to bring us down.
2. The enemy knows that God is behind all these, so we are stupid if we follow him instead of God. (Read Neh 6:16)

From Neh 7:1-5 (After the wall was built)

1.Nehemiah put extra precautions in guarding his wall because the enemy will never stay silent. That is what we need to do as a church. We got to keep on moving up as a church- guarding our hearts, be obedient to His words and support each other and knowing that all of us are important in the Kingdom of God, because we are all the builders of the church.

That was the end of my sharing, i just find this so cool and awesome and i can linked every single points to the church sermons, sharings from friends, school of prayer and my quiet time notes! it was pretty awesome about how God actually spill everything on the spot and reveal his plans for His church!
Lets move as one BUILDERS! love u guys!

http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=185465044166&subj=753422873

looking for video announcement samples.. come across this church.. Really awesome and kocak!!!

The “now” culture! Kalau pacaran, cowok bayarin buat cewek? Atau bayar masing2?

I was reading a book called “Give dating a chance” by Jeramy Clark. So, he was talking about How guys should be a gentleman and pay for the ladies if they go dating. Hm…. This actually got me thinking about the “now” culture!! Hm.. keknya berubah drastis! Gua inget, dulu pas gua pacaran, nyokap gua sering nanya,

“Tiap kali makan, siapa yang bayar?”

Gua sih bilang, “ya gua sendiri lah yang bayar. Bayar masing2”

Nyokap: “ kok gitu, bukanya seharusnya cowok yang bayar?”

Gua:” lho, kan gua bukan istrinya.. ngapaen dia bayar buat gua?”

Nyokap: “Dulu ya, pas mama pacaran atau keluar rame2 sama teman2, cowok yang selalu keluar biaya.”

Gua: “ ya kan itu dulu, sekarang kan beda.”

Kalau keinget conversation ini,   sebernarnya kalau mikir2, emank cowok yang harus bayarin buat ceweknya sih. I think our culture is just different. I have come across one couple, whereby the girl pays for the guy’s meal. Itu lebi ga tau malu lagi. Dasar cowok! Sekarang emank super duper beda sih. Hm.. why?

I think one of the reason is, people treat dating as a game, rather than a serious relationship. That is why, they tend to fool around. I use to ask my guy friend this question, and he said, “kalau gua punya 10 cewek, lu bayangin gua harus  keluarin berapa duit..”

Hm… the way he answers me, it was pretty obvious that this friend of mine is not ready for relationship, still childish. -_-“  I think its true that, a guy need to have a stable job first before he is ready for a relationship. Kalau bayar masing2… I think the guy will be quite malu ya..

Tapi ya back again, sekarang emank beda sih. Anak muda kalau pacaran, kadang cewek yg bayarin buat cowoknya soalnya, belum dapet uang jajan dari bonyok nya. -_-“ haiyah.. Kalau bayar masing2, I don’t think is wrong juga lah if the girl insist. But ya.. kalau mikir2, enak di cowoknya ya kalau lagi pacaran. There is not much sacrifice or effort to put during dating.

The “The One”

okay.. ini topic yang paling hot dan topic yg paling popular antara anak2 muda.. KEK gua gt.. wakakka! okay anyway.. this post.. i will talk about the criteria of THE ONE/Mr right yang gua doyan..

anyway.. sebelum mulai dengan criteria2.. i will talk abit about my old criterias…

Last time, i love popular guys! So normally i only date popular guys! buahahaha! attractive and everyone’s dream boyfriend guy! but yea.. over the years, i feel like my boyfriend is everyone’s boyfriend.. so ya.. handsome guys are hard to handle.. and i use to love guys that play sports or music! so my first ex is actually an athlete then second one also an athlete.. the unofficial ones are always part of the soccer teams or they are in a band playing RWAK music!  but.. of course.. as i deepen my relationship with God, i changed my criterias and views about guys. I start to have values and standards.. but the face features that im normally attracted to.. they are actually similar.. i only realise that about 5 days ago! i was like “oh yaya! semua cowok yang gua demen itu muka nya kek gini2″ anyway, so here comes!

1. Less talk, do more

i love guys that are not much of a talker, because i am a talker. So i will do more of the talking, he will do more listening! .. They can be jayus sometimes or jgn serius2 sekali lah.. but he actually act upon what he said and he can rebuke me when i am wrong and guide me to do the right things!

2. Cool personality

what do i mean by here. “diem diem tapi mematikan”. So he is not the centre of attraction kind of guy, but people actually like him or adore him because he has a good personality and good influence. Misalnya, kek pst. joseph gt lho.. kyayaya!

3. Choleric

I am choleric as well! oh ya, i am 53% choleric btw! haha! but i love guys that can lead!

4. Minister of God

Not only normal christians.. but he already serve in a ministry.. one of the leaders or the in charge of a certain area.. Preferably Youth ministry ya.. soalnya calling gua udah disana!

5. hobby ada dikit2 sama

at least he play sports or music.. biar ga gt bosen kali ya

6. Cute faces.. not handsome

i love guys that always smile…:)

7. Not poetic or gombal..but has his own unique way of showing Love

I dun like guys that make empty promises and talk trash.. more actions i guess give me more security rather than only plain talk..

8. Love his family. Love his friends. Love the church. Love God.

I think this is the most important one!

9. Always have great plans

• Guys that can plan and have ideas about the future plans will be a good one!

10. His friends are my friends too

i think this is quite important for me too.. because if we have common friends.. is good that sometimes we can hang out together and chill…

11. A guy that place God before me.

SO YA! WHERE ARE YOU????